forgive yourself - Dean Coulson
Mental Strength, mindset

Can You Forgive Yourself?

Forgiveness.

It’s one thing forgiving others but much harder forgiving yourself.

I would forgive my son

I would forgive my wife

I would forgive my family

But i found it always easier to forgive others than forgive myself.

I used to beat myself up, mangle myself, be so hard on myself and for what?

To make myself feel shit.

How does that serve me?

Have you ever done that?

Being so self critical and self judgemental.

It certainly didn’t serve me at all,

It certainly didn’t make me feel good.

So I decided that I would conserve my energy and let it go.

I realised that some days it just beats you.

Sometimes the anger beats you

Sometimes the jealousy beats you

Sometimes the rage beats you

Sometimes the judgement beats you

Sometimes the envy beats you

You just get mangled and that’s ok.

It means you are on the right path and there are lessons to learn.

If you don’t have days when you feel beaten, you are not in the right arena.

You are not challenging yourself enough to grow, to feel discomfort.

You are not asking the right questions of yourself

If we cannot forgive ourselves then we are not living in the present moment.

So breathe

So give yourself a break.

Take it easy on yourself.

Everything will be ok.

Dean x

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choosing
Inspiration, Mental Strength, mindset, Motivation

Simply Choose to BEgin

To become the “best version of you” you can be, you have to grow as a person.

Small thinking will not get you there. You have to expand your mind and your thoughts.

Contracting to expand.

Moving forwards requires a focus on the important things, the challenging things.

Cutting away the excess, the superfluous, the distractions that don’t serve you.

Once you are aligned you will be able to expand yourself, your consciousness will grow to allow you to become a better version of you.

Focus on impacting as many people as you can in a positive way.

Stop defending the reasons why you are where you are.

Stop arguing with everybody about why you are where you are.

Stop thinking about what you cannot have and instead focus on what you can have and desire.

You cannot move forwards by focusing on the past.

To be the best version of you, to be a better person, let go of why you think you cannot be.

Flip it around.

You will get what you focus on the most, so STOP thinking about what doesn’t serve you

and

START focusing on what does serve you that will give you the life you desire.

There is so much pain in this world that people now actively go out of their way to avoid it, isolating themselves from “potential” pain.

Pain that they perceive based on their past stories.

This most commonly turns out to be a bullshit story.

As a race, we thrive on connection, but now it is frowned upon, its not the done thing.

We fear judgement and ridicule so we don’t do it.

Well I am here to invite you to start connecting and start BEing.

Connection is love and love is what everyone craves deep down…

To BE and feel loved and appreciated.

This isn’t some bullshit sissy crap.

Real people let go of their egos and allow themselves to connect.

It is seen by many as a weakness but it is possibly your greatest strength.

Anyone who says otherwise is playing a story in their head and ultimately will feel lonely.

Become more vulnerable, allow yourself to connect with others.

Step up and show up!

We seem to live in a world where we are encouraged to bottle up and hide emotions, to keep things to yourself.

This however blocks our flow.

The power of giving and receiving.

To show up in the world as our most powerful self, letting go and sharing your truth is the only way to happiness.

In reality, being truthful and honest with yourself and others leads to great strength and belonging.

To become a better version of you, you have to DEMAND that a better version of you show up EVERY SINGLE DAY!

If you want your life to be better, contribute DAILY to change.

If you want to change how you look, contribute DAILY to change.

If you want to change how you feel, contribute DAILY to change.

If you want to have a better relationship, contribute DAILY to change

If you want a better or different career, contribute DAILY to change.

if you want to be happy, contribute DAILY to change.

Lower the barriers, make connections real and I mean real, not via social media, connect with more people in real life, face to face and watch how you grow as you do it.

If you don’t show up every day demanding the change, you will stay how you always have been.

It doesn’t have to be grand gestures, just little promises that you keep to yourself EVERY DAY.

Each little step will take you forward to a rich and rewarding life.

If you focus on how you can first help yourself and then help other people without any thought of reward.

Have the courage to focus on being the best version of you, and find the courage to start.

For the courage is inside us all, if we only choose to look inside to find it.

Simply choose to BEGIN x

Truth, Courage & Happiness

Dean x

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safety net
mindset, Motivation

Remove the Safety Net

The truth is…

as much as life should be effortless

it isn’t, we always get in our own way.

Every time I do I look at my 12 year old son he always wears the biggest smile.

He is always happy and full of fun.

He teaches me that maybe I was lied to

maybe life isn’t hard

maybe life isn’t difficult

hard or difficult is just the definition we choose to believe

maybe we were told life was hard by parents, friends, family.

Then we prove it over and over to validate that what we believe is right.

Sometimes though we refuse to face up to the times when it feels hard.

when you decide to chase your dreams it may get a little messy

There may be ups and downs

any time you decide to grow, to become a better version of yourself

a 2.0 or maybe a 3.0 🙂

the growth feels uncomfortable.

staying right where you are now is safe and that is cool if it’s what you want.

But the thing is staying where you are right now is far from safe

because the reality is that one day you will look back with regrets

and wish you’d done something about it

I embrace growth, it has felt hard in the past and will again

as I work though the BS stories I have bought into that I have allowed to hold me back

I know the road less traveled will lead me to become a better version of myself

Pain is necessary to grow

Suffering is not

Always look at what feels good, what feels light

allow your intuition to guide you.

allow yourself to appreciate all that you are and all that you have

be grateful for this amazing life you have

each pain is a lesson to grow and expand

I find the best way to move forwards is to spend time with like minded people

who have walked the path and know what I will be going through and who give me the space to grow

If you’re looking to grow too and you want some support along your journey then send me a message now and we’ll have a conversation

Truth, Courage & Happiness

Dean

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exercise-busy-schedule
Health, mindset

Your Health is Worth How Much?

*** YOUR HEALTH IS WORTH HOW MUCH?? ***

How much is your health worth to you?

A simple question that gets overlooked… until something happens to compromise it.

We are so good at taking health for granted that we dismiss it out of hand and put everything else ahead of it.

Does that mean we think so little of ourselves that we don’t think we are worth investing in?

So what do you think YOUR health is worth?

More than the countless nights out and wasted days recovering?
More than the latest gadgets?

More than your car?

More than a holiday?

More than your job?

More than your House?

More than other people’s opinions?

More than your Partner?

More than your Kids?

More than yourself??

if not, why not?

When all is said and done, if you haven’t got your health, then how can you enjoy anything else?

How can you look after your loved ones if you are unwilling to look after yourself first?

How can you show unconditional love to them when you don’t give it to yourself first?

your health starts with you, so start investing in it.

Whether that is investing the time to do it or in somebody else who can help you reach your goals and keep you accountable to what you set.

Health is the only thing you truly have.

When it’s go e it really is gone.

So what cost do you place on your life?

If you would like to get your health back on track for life then pm me and we can have a chat. I would love to have a conversation with you to share what I believe is the key to long term health.

Truth, courage and happiness

Dean x

#theleanwarrior

#bedohaveitall

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discipline, mindset, self mastery

What Are Your Addictions?

*** ADDICTION ***
 
To Start Changing the world, or even just YOUR world, then you have to start by changing yourself.
 
To change yourself you first have to be aware of any denial you have around addictions.
 
Addictions are actions with consequences that can lead to a sub life or worse.
 
You think you are in control but you are not. You think about moderation but it’s not. You think you can quit any time, but you cannot. – This is addiction
 
If you think you are free of addiction, try to escape and see what comes up. See how your body and brain react. Than you will find out.
 
Addiction is not morals and ethics.
 
Addiction is about cause and effect.
 
If Cause is excessive
 
Effect is often addiction
 
It comes down to choice…
 
You choose to stay locked in your cell of addiction or kill the addiction and escape.
 
You think you can flirt with your addictions, but you can’t. Either they are dead or they are still a threat.
 
Whilst YOU allow them to live, whilst YOU continue to flirt with your destiny you will always be in danger.
 
Addictions are funny things, they wait patiently for a way in, then they burrow deep and eventually take over.
 
You may not even see them coming. You may not even realise, but once they are in, they will use almost anything to stay.
 
Most addictions come from having low self esteem, that feeling of not being enough.
 
But YOU ARE enough!
 
What are you in denial about?
 
Junk Food?
Drugs (including Hard drugs, alcohol, caffeine, smoking)?
Gambling?
Pornography?
People Pleasing?
 
What do YOU think you are in control of, when you are not?
 
When your intention is clear, you will destroy your addictions, when you are not, they will always come back, justifying why its ok is just an excuse.
 
When you are ready to to remove an addiction, you KNOW how to do it.
 
You are either in or out. Courting addiction is NOT an option, if your goal is freedom, then cut addictions loose.
 
Many people will not move forwards out of fear, addictions closest friend. They live side by side to keep you locked away, justifying your existence.
 
But who wants to exist, when you can truly live?
 
You either choose to exist or to live. Survive or to Thrive.
 
To live your life on your terms, you choose to first find peace with yourself.
 
Recognise that you are enough.
 
You are powerful beyond measure.
 
You are worthy.
 
So make your intentions clear. Take your power back and remove your addictions, or be forever stuck.
 
Truth, Courage & Happiness
 
Dean x
 
#theleanwarrior
#bedohaveitall
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